Reflection

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I think what I like best about this time of the year is having the last week of the month off from work and other obligations to sit and reflect. By now, I’ve had time to park my butt on my comfy couch, feet up and glass of wine in hand to stare at my Christmas tree and unwind from what has proven to be a challenging and busy year. In doing this, I’ve taken stock of things that have been working in my life, and things that haven’t. Where I should be focusing my time and energy, and where I shouldn’t. I haven’t liked all of the answers I’ve come up with, though under closer examination, I think I’ve seen them coming for some time; I simply chose to ignore them until, inevitably, they could no longer be ignored.

This has been a year of decluttering for me. It began early in January 2016 with a big purge but now, looking back, I see it was not just a matter of releasing things that cluttered my closets and cubbies, but also a release of old habits, familiar standbys and things that no longer worked. Things that had become broken, or lopsided, or simply a victim of structural and emotional decay.

That sounds a bit maudlin, and in some aspects there is a distinct sadness to letting go, a mourning process that occurs that I hadn’t been prepared for. Yet, in other ways, it has also been unexpectedly freeing. As if a weight that had been pressing down on me has been lifted, allowing me to move in the direction I was meant to go, unencumbered by things that no longer work. Much clearer on the things that matter. More determined to live my life in a way that is true to who I am now, and not who or how I was five, ten, twenty years ago. People evolve, change, grow. Stagnation is akin to death. And in some ways, I have felt stagnated over the past few years, through no one else’s fault but my own.

So this coming year, 2017, with a few weeks shy of a half century of experience now under my belt, I am determined to not only simplify my physical surroundings further, but my mental and emotional ones as well. I will hold tight to the things that mean the most to me and protect them ferociously. I will embrace the things I love and that fill me creatively with joy and abandon – regardless of whether they bear fruit or not. Regardless of any fear stepping out on that limb fills me with. I will continue to allow myself to grow and change and evolve and become.

And I’m going to clean out my closets and cubbies in the process. 🙂

So, here’s to 2017. I wish you all the absolute best of the Season and may your New Year be filled with all the things that you hold near and dear. I’ll see you soon.

K. 

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