When Plans Go Awry

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For the shortest month of the year, February always seems to feel like the longest. Maybe it’s the crappy weather, the inundation of snow that feels never ending as it piles higher and higher on the snowbanks framing my driveway. Or maybe it is simply that I’m now thisclose to Spring yet it feels so far beyond my reach.

Sigh…February. My nemesis.

I started the year with such lofty goals. Not unusual, I often do this. The year is like a blank slate and I can’t wait to fill it in with all the things I’m going to accomplish. Then reality hits and I realize that, while I may reach most of the goals, clearly I am not going to reach all of  them in the first two months of the year.

Despite that, I do feel that I’m making headway with some goals, while others, it’s a little like slogging through the swamp.

My spending moratorium went great in January then hit a snag in February going a bit off the rails. I’ve needed to need to adjust my sails on that one and have made a plan. But I’ve also had to accept the fact that sometimes, things just go awry because priorities change and plans need to be adjusted. Giving myself a little wiggle room in that regard is necessary.

The decluttering of the house also went gangbusters in January and as it stands now, I feel the house has a much cleaner, stream-lined, clutter free feel to it. I can breathe easier, my stress is much less. I don’t avoid my house because all the stuff feels like it’s closing in on me. But my office is still not done. I’ve made a lot of headway, but there is still a ways to go. I’ve realized I need to change up the storage and replace a bookshelf with a square cubby unit. That will require a cost outlay I hadn’t planned, but not one that is overly expensive so I should be able to swing it. I think I’m still on track to meet my goal of having it completed and ready to use for my creative endeavours by end of the month.

Speaking of creative endeavours, this is an area that has improved in some area and fallen apart in others. I’m writing the last book in a nine-book series and I have run out of steam big time. I have two weeks to my deadline and I’m looking at what feels like a big pile of crap. I just haven’t been able to get my head into the story because mentally, I’ve already moved on to what comes next and I’m chomping at the bit to get started. The book I’m finishing is not filling my creative well. The publishing grind I’ve been on has turned writing into a job and taken the fun and discovery out of it. I so badly want to jump off that train but I need to reach the station first. I promised my readers the book by June and I do not want their last experience of the series to be a letdown because I couldn’t get my shit together.

But what I have noticed is that while my writing isn’t currently fulfilling me creatively, other outlets have opened up and are exploding like crazy. Mostly my knitting which is going gangbusters and I’m reminded how much I love creating with my hands. It’s been on the back burner for the past few years and I’ve missed it! I’m also considering making the leap to dyeing my own yarn but first, I need to investigate this further to determine the amount of cash outlay required, space needed, etc. We have small house so space is at a premium. I’ve also found a pattern for project bags I want to try to sew as my first sewing pattern.

So, I am learning to adjust as the year goes along and reset when I need to. I have twelve months to accomplish my goals. I don’t have to do everything all at once. It’s really okay to relax a bit.

K.

 

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